Stingless Sunday

If there is one edible wild weed that anyone can identify it has to be the notorious stinger. But before you rush out to collect the fresh, iron-rich, leaves that March has to offer, follow my 'Careful Collection Criteria':

1. Go out now, don't wait for spring to be over and for the nettles to flower. Once this happens the plant begins to produce microscopic crystoliths in the leaves which if ingested can interfere with kidney function...

The author glamorously
picking too close to the path.

2. Unless you like the taste of dog crap, choose your foraging spot wisely. Stray a little from the path but be vigilant for treacherous ankle stingers, which brings me swiftly on to point 3...

3. Wear protection! Sandals and shorts would be a bit... rash... but forgetting a pair of suitable gloves would be shear madness. A bright yellow pair of marigolds is my favoured armour but I'm sure the pink variety would do the trick too.

4. Take a friend to help.

5. MY MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE - Subtly get your friend to pick the first leaves in order to test the worthiness of your gloves.

6. Double bag your bounty to avoid a sting in the back on the way home.

7. Thoroughly rinse your perilous prize. Especially if you're a vegetarian as there are often little bugs hiding away in amongst your collection.

8. Find a decent recipe such as nettle soup, nettle ravioli or nettle and wild garlic (see previous post) risotto and show off your culinary skills to those brave enough to sample both stinging nettles and your cooking.

Wild Weekend

Bleating lambs fill the fields, fresh leaves bring colour to the naked trees and daffodils appear just in time for St David's day - spring has arrived! Well it has in sun-soaked Bristol, I can't speak for those further north who were still being showered with snow in early March!

This season of change is welcomed for many different reasons. As the temperature warms we pay less on heating bills, we migrate outside into our local beer gardens and a brave few even bare their long-hidden legs during a flip-flop parade around the first bbq of the year. For me spring signals the end of a foraging fast which began in early November after my last bounty of wild mushrooms. It's finally time to feast on nature's bounty once again.

Over the next few months I plan to receive as many strange looks from urban Bristolians as possible as I spend my weekends collecting various different 'weeds' from across the city for my culinary pleasure. And last weekend was no exception as my girlfriend and I walked through a typically snooty Clifton crowd with a bag full of freshly picked, pungent wild garlic.

  

Stinking Jenny, gypsy's onions, ramsons, Allium ursinum, whatever you call it wild garlic is a beauty and one of my favourite wild foods. Some know it as bear's garlic as it was said that hungry European bears awakening from hibernation in the spring would stuff their chops full of this leafy green in order to regain their strength and to cleanse their metabolisms. I'm not sure how much strength it provides but when you find a carpet of the stuff on a woodland floor it certainly cleanses your nostrils.

It's not uncommon to find far more
than is possible to collect!



The leaves are mild enough to be eaten raw and like an excited 7 year-old at a pick-your-own strawberry farm I couldn't help but chow down on a few leaves right there and then. Not only does the plant taste great but it possesses anticeptic qualities and helps to lower blood-pressure and cholesterol. The plant contains antifungal juices as well as repellent properties which have been used to deter insects and moles.

Once home my horde was soon turned into a vat of pesto with the assistance of some freshly picked basil, a handful of pine nuts, a glug or six of olive oil and the added bonus of some year-old pecorino cheese I'd brought back from Rome a couple of weeks ago. Stirred into some fresh home-made spaghetti it made for a wonderfully tasty, healthy, cheap and aromatic meal. It seems those aforementioned repellent properties also worked very well on my girlfriend the following morning.

Next forage - stinging nettles!

The coolest bums in the world - Part 1

The vinegaroon is a true monster of the animal world. Also known as a 'whipscorpion' this arachnid owns a pair of formidable claws and a tough exoskeleton, but it's the beast's rear end which gains it its name.

The eight-legged marksman has a slender pistol-like whip attached to its rear end by (for want of a maturer description) a bulbous knob! This strange structure acts as a revolvable gun emplacement that shoots acetic acid (vinegar) at unsuspecting predators, typically hunting ants. The purpose of this vinegar dousing is not to make other creatures taste nice, but so that they think twice about eating the eight-legged marksman.

But one shot just isn't enough, so the vinegaroon unleashes a second, sick-smelling acid (caprylic) upon its attacker which helps the vinegar to stick and persist to its victim. Imagine a friend has eaten too many chips at the sea-side and proceeded to vomit all over you, you'd be pretty reluctant to go near that mate any time soon!

So if you're scared of spiders, stop being a wimp and beware the whip instead...